It Get's Worse...Then Life.

The longer the wait to perform the PET scan due to missing reports and insurance snafu's, the more sure I was that the type of cancer that was in my body was not happy and content sitting and growing in just my breast. I knew it was spreading. I was hoping that the pain I was having in my hip was just arthritis and in my abdomen was just gas. I had hoped that my fear was just anxiousness to get the show on the road with chemo and getting better.

It was not just anxiousness.

Both  my Oncologist, Dr.Jennifer Fisher-a real cool clinician who balanced out the motherly Surgeon DrMaryKatherineMurphy called with the news, it was Dr. Murphy who gave me the news first.

The PET scan showed that the cancer had spread to my hip and my liver had two lesions on it. This was the bad news. I had Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. That was Stage IV out of IV Stages on the How Bad is the Cancer cancer scale. Sheri had asked Dr. Fisher for an explanation of the stages as it pertained specifically to me when we first met her. She explained that Stage III was when the cancer had not progressed beyond the affected organ. Stage IV cancer happened when the cancer has spread to other areas in the body. It can never be cured but it can be put into remission for periods at a time though eventually, it will come back.

When explaining my diagnosis that night, both doctor's stressed that I could live many good years with periods of remission and chemo when the cancer comes back. The good news was that there are only one lesion on my hip and 2 lesions on my liver; Chemo will stop these and probably erase them for the time being.

I was with my sister, Cathie, when I got the call. Then I called Sheri. As soon as she answered, my tears started flowing and I couldn't talk. I passed the phone to Cathie who explained to Sheri the new diagnosis. She arranged for her husband to pick Sheri up and bring her to their house since I had the car.

As a family, we circled the wagons and began planning

I had been jokingly whining "but I have cancer..." whenever I had the chance to get out of something. That night Cathie and sister by choice, Heidi began joking back "but you're not broken!" and thus began a new idea. In this family every event is celebrated with a party. My cancer was no exception. I decided that I could not wait for my hair to begin to fall out on it's own. I didn't think I could handle chunks of hair coming loose in my hands. I needed to be proactive; A head shaving party was scheduled! My long auburn locks would be donated to Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for kids with cancer whose family can't afford them on their own. Without my knowledge everyone who would be there would wear the shirts that Heidi had made that read: "She has cancer...She is not broken." She made me two shirts one for pre-mastectomy and one post that read: "I have cancer...I am not broken."

Another discussion that lightened up the dark news that night was a wish that I have always had. My family is very close and my all time favorite place to be is in Hawaii. So we decided to plan a trip for all of us. Now I didn't ask my sister to do this, it was something that she did on her own as a way to help me out because as we were talking about this trip, my head was asking "how can we afford this?" and I could almost hear the cash register "cha-ching" in Sheri's head, but Cathie started a blog Trip for Tits to help us raise funds. Even if you can't chip in, please hit like and share to pass it on.-It will make all of us really happy.

I am blessed to go through this with the support that I have, my partner, my family by blood and by choice. Regardless of how long I have, at least I have that.